Since my wrist recovered earlier this year I have been steadily getting back into playing again.  I began orchestral playing again this season and have been invited as a soloist to perform a concerto next season which I’m delighted about.  I have also started taking deps for weddings, parties and other functions again on my electric violins.  This weekend just gone I had one such function crop up, and my husband was also out working so we had to factor childcare into the equation.

Well that was the first hurdle.  My husband was working in Eastbourne and myself in Guildford so we both had a bit of a journey (my sat nav took me past lakeside and bluewater 1 week before christmas, not the most sensible route!).  In order to allow for traffic and be set in time we had to leave at 4 and 4:30 respectively and neither of us would finish and get back before 1am.  So the shortest time I needed childcare for would be 9 hours.  Now I don’t know about your neck of the woods, but our childcare comes at a charge of £7 per hour so I was looking at £63 childcare fee’s before I started.  Then add to that the guzzling petrol tank for the journey and what’s left doesn’t muster a particularly inspiring fee for being out of the house for 9 hours.

All my life if a gig has come up, I’ve looked in my diary and if I’m free and want to play then I just say yes.  As a gigging mummy there is a whole other set of criteria that have to be considered.  First, is my husband working that night or home?  If he is home then I can say yes and if he gets a gig too then we worry about it as it comes up.  If he is also working then I can only really say yes if I can find suitable and available childcare.  So these days I need to work out what time a gig starts and finishes, what time I need to leave the house, what time I’ll get back. Then I have to find out who is available for childcare before I can commit.  Once I’ve calculated the cost of the petrol and childcare I then have to consider if it is financially worth my while to be out of the house for 9 hours not to mention have the stress of the late night (no lie ins with my early bird boys!).

None the less, I have to say I still absolutely love playing live, I don’t play my electric violins so often these days – they certainly don’t get out of the cases unless  I am gigging, and while I play I’m not thinking about what I’ve bought the kids for christmas, how many chairs we’ll need when everyone comes round, when I’m going to fit the food shopping or doing the business accounts in.  I’m absorbed in the music and I am not Karen the mum, wife or business woman, I’m just Karen playing her violin again for that period of time. I wear a fancy frock, a bit of make up and I communicate with people musically rather than verbally and watch all the punters (sorry, couldn’t think of a more appropriate word!) having a lovely time and enjoying themselves.

This weekends event was a wedding, a winter wedding in a gorgeous Tithe Barn, but rather than enjoy a quick saunter round on arrival, due to my escapades in getting on the road I only arrived in the nick of time.  As I dashed to the stage and started unpacking my fiddles I asked who I was depping for, was it the flautist or the usual violinist as I am called to dep for either.  Both came the response, neither of the main instrumentalists were there, which meant I was going to have to take my fair share of playing the proper dots rather than widdling around on fanciful harmonies as the mood took me.  Not to worry I thought, we have Clive on mandolin, and another couple of flautists, not to mention the solid rhythm section of guitar, bass and drums.  But oh no, as I quickly sound checked my fiddles it transpired that the guitarist had broken down on route to the venue and so wouldn’t be joining us, and he also had one of the other flautists in his car.

Dang.  That really seemed to put the stress levels up on the poor old band leader, but to be fair, for me as it isn’t a regular gig anyway it made no odds. I’m depping, I turn up, I play the tunes, it doesn’t matter who is and isn’t there.  And besides, it was quite nice to hear some different arrangements coming through, I loved the simplicity and beautiful textures of all linear instruments rather than the chug chugging of the rhythm guitar.  But then Twang, dear old Clive had a string on the mandolin break and that did put a slight spanner in the works.  We were now down to me, drums, bass and some flute harmonies while he worked out how to re-string it (in his defence it was a borrowed mandolin and he’d not had to change a string on it before).  Could it get any more challenging?

What a trouper.  In the interval the flautist who had been stuck in the guitarists broken down car arrived, she’d managed to convince someone to come and meet her on the motorway and bring her on to the gig.  Not only that, but she’d had the foresight to bring one of the guitars with her, so Clive was able to do a quick switcheroo and start the second half on guitar.  Back to a more traditional band line up with guitar, bass, drums, melody and harmony.  Except the guitar was detuned by about a tone.  Our band leader helpfully took it upon himself to pop the guitar round his neck and tune it up, and in his haste/stress proceeded to break a string, so yet again Clive was sat there re-stringing an unfamiliar instrument.

Finally we launched into the second half with a decent line up, and it sounded fabulous.  The punters guests were delighted, one of them came over and told me this was the 6th time he’d been at a function with this band and he loved it.  I politely said thank you but that it probably wasn’t me, I was a dep, but the dear chap was adamant he’d seen me before.  It transpires we had played at his wedding 3 1/2 years ago and he remembered me clearly as I was heavily pregnant at the time.  Well he’s absolutely right, I now have a little one aged 3 yrs 5 1/2 months, and I also remember playing his wedding as it was literally 2 weeks before I gave birth.  They’ve been rebooking the band for functions ever since, and tonight was his best mans wedding.

Well what a flash point to look back at.  The gigging experience pre-being a mummy (literally 2 weeks), and the gigging experience post being a mummy.  A lot more complicated, a lot less financially rewarding, masses more tiring (the next day is like a hangover), BUT the marvellous experience of making music, and sharing the pleasure with others is exactly the same, roll on the next gig!

Posted by: karen

Last night I managed to grab some time to go for a curry with a friend. We went to the local curry house and had a splendid meal, caught up about all things business, family and children, paid the bill, and were just finishing our conversation when a chap a couple of tables called over and interrupted.

He was a bit worse for wear, with a pint in front of him, and he apologised for interrupting but wanted to know if we were talking about speech therapy. We said no, scooters (you know, to buy or not to buy a mini microlight scooter). Then feeling slightly sorry for the lone diner and intrigued as to the reason for his interruption we asked if he himself was a speech therapist. At this point he kind of chuckled and said he was an NME journalist. Well I was intrigued, as in my dim and distant past when I was in an indie band I did my best to seek out NME journalists, enticing them to our gigs and chasing column space. So we chatted slightly, and I mentioned an old school friend in the media group that own NME that he seemed to know and so this seemed quite plausible.

Next, I asked him if he was also a musician thinking it quite likely if he worked for NME and he muttered that he was in a failed band. He then went on to say his ‘failed’ band were none other than LIBERTINEs, and pulled out his Libertine tattoo on his arm. Well to say I nearly fell off my chair is an understatement. I remember so clearly being excited to hear Libertines tracks, particularly the eponymous 2nd album and tracks like Can’t Stand Me Now. It seemed our new friend has just bought a house in the area and this was his first night out.

Things to a slight downturn from there though. Because I knew the band he then branded me a fan and proceeded to ramble slightly incoherently, peppering his statements with she’s a fan, she knows, and seeming to need to convince himself of his own popularity. His ramblings were a mix of addled melancholy and narcissism, with random lyrics quoted, details of who wrote what and references to Doherty and his well documented drug experiences. He also talked about being in Babyshambles, and seemed very disappointed that we hadn’t recognised him the second we saw him. He kept saying ‘how could you not remember this face’, yes it was said with a tinge of irony, but his disappointment was also clear.

Worst thing was, I couldn’t understand his name when he told us, but my suspicion from the irish accent is that it was Drew McConnell who was the Babyshambles bass player but I can’t actually remember him in Libertines (please correct me if I am wrong!). I didn’t feel it would help the conversation flow by mentioning this though! So we managed to extract ourselves from the conversation, and as we were leaving he asked if we wanted him to sign us and laughed saying we would could then go and get the signature tattooed. When we mentioned it might not quite be appropriate now we are mums with young kids he seemed aghast and proclaimed that his fans shouldn’t be allowed to have kids it was against everything they stood for. In order to get out the door we suggested he sign a piece of paper instead, and this settled the egocentric feathers a little, as he was then able to explain to the nervous looking waiters that he used to be in a famous band and we were fans.

We made our exit and retreated to the car with a signature of an unidentified musician from a band that are now on the naughty step of popularity following the death of their friend the talented Amy Winehouse. It is quite a sad to see, and I wish him every success in the future, but he’ll have to get his head out of the pint to do so…

Posted by: karen

That time finally came around, my children’s first ever concert was looming. Their nursery was having a christmas party with a childrens entertainer, party food, and then each class were going to sing some christmas songs. Well, I was so pleased. I was really looking forward to a fun day with the children, and imagining how they would be when their time came to perform.

Of course, as a musician I thought to myself I knew how to help them prepare. They may be only 1 and 3, but I can help them practise jingling their bells, help them practice their songs, make sure my 3 yr old could sing all the words. I was slightly disappointed that the 1 yr olds song was not a traditional christmas song, but still, we watched the clip of it on you tube as directed by the nursery, and learned when to clap etc.

The big day. No camera’s allowed and all parent mobile phones confiscated at the door so we have to rely on It was all a bit overwhelming with full on mayhem led by Captain Fantastic the entertainer, but he did a good job, and of course regularly set the bubble machine off. On to the food. This for me was also slightly chaotic as the nursery had not considered the issue of siblings and my boys were placed at party tables in separate rooms, so I had to do a bit of cajoling and jiggling until we were all united again. Never mind though, still the main event of the concert to come.

Then, about 5 mins before they were due to start the nursery manager ran in to me and asked if I would lead the singing as I was a musician. I was slightly taken aback, and politely declined. This was one occasion where I wanted to be a parent, sit and enjoy the even with my children, and besides I didn’t have a guitar, ukulele, CD or even know the words to some of the songs they were due to be singing. They understood though, and knew it was a bit cheeky to ask, I think it was just one of those spur of the moment ideas they had.

We were asked to move into the room for singing, and it seemed half the parents and children disappeared. What a shame. Clearly the perception was that the party and the food were the main event, and the singing didn’t really matter. I popped to change my 1 yr olds nappy as we were moving through, and through the walls I heard the babies class start on their rendition of Jingle Bells. Then it suddenly felt like a race against the clock, they’d started without us! We dashed back in just in time to see my 3 yr olds pre school group finishing their song, while my own three year old lay sobbing in a corner as Mummy wasn’t even there.

I couldn’t believe it! My 1 yr old completely missed his class song, and my 3 yr old distraught as they went ahead without his mummy and so consequently he didn’t join in. I can’t tell you how let down I feel, and how disappointed I am for my boys. My 1 yr old won’t really know any different, but my 3 yr old does, he knows he wasn’t part of it and that he missed out. What a dreadful experience of their first ever musical performance. Roll on next year when we can do it all again!

Posted by: karen